Twisted Fun Times

Dovey

When I was 8 I rescued a Dove by wrestling it from the mouth of a cat. It had lost all the feathers from its back and wasn't moving much....

Apr 28, 2023

Jul 12, 2021

Jul 3, 2021

At night she lays awake; With the evil under the bed; While that evil whispers sweet nothings; From a place inside her head.

Jun 30, 2021

I am well known for being a complete monster ...on the inside. Let's be clear here - on the outside, I'm your regular, empathetic,...

Jun 26, 2021

There is absolutely no way to put away a puzzle elegantly. It doesn't matter how gently I try to pull it apart, fold it, roll it or tear...

Jun 23, 2021

Every time a sitcom does a bit where a man accidentally takes one, they start acting like an overly sensitive a-hole (with tender boobs)....

Oct 23, 2020

"Getting a Brazilian wax is like getting your car detailed. If you haven't done it for a while then all you want to do is take it for a...

Sep 17, 2020

Sep 2, 2020

For all you guys out there looking for love online - this one is for you. From scouring profiles myself, here are the top 5 things that...

Aug 20, 2020

Not that long ago if I stopped outside a shop to put on a mask before I entered, they would have been pushing that silent alarm like it...

Aug 16, 2020

Aug 12, 2020

Why you should never look at someone else's toothbrush.

Aug 11, 2020

"I have strong opinions about frisbees. If yours has a hole in the middle you're wasting your time"

Aug 6, 2020

"Don't trust anyone who doesn't like lasagna. There's something seriously wrong with them, trust me." I'd like to add red wine and cheese...

Aug 4, 2020

"People who finish their shampoo and conditioner at the same time are wizards and not not be trusted".

Aug 1, 2020

Global pandemic and my biggest fear is still slipping while I get out of the shower and getting punched in the vagina by the side of the...

Jun 16, 2020